CB already covered some of this a couple of hours ago, but there is some new stuff, so I find it worthy of a new post. It seems John Mayer’s epic Playboy interview is the centerpiece for three tabloid covers this week. And yet, all of the covers are about the two ex-girlfriends Mayer discussed at length, Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston. The two women appear on the covers, not Mayer – I guess his dumb doucheface doesn’t sell covers.
Anyway, before I get into the excerpts from Star Magazine and Life & Style’s cover stories, I’d just like to point out one thing. It occurred to me while I was writing the two posts on Mayer’s Playboy interview (here and here) – that while it’s clear that Mayer didn’t really respect Jessica Simpson for her intellect or anything, most of what he said about her could be interpreted as a compliment. He said was “sexual napalm” and claiming that when he was with Jessica, he felt like “I want to quit my life and just f-cking snort you… If you charged me $10,000 to f-ck you, I would start selling all my sh-t just to keep f-cking you.”
Meanwhile, when he talked about Jennifer Aniston, he would say some nice stuff (“We just have a regard for each other’s feelings that is pretty intense”) but he also had some seriously bitchy asides regarding her age and priorities. He said stuff like: “The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter. I think she’s still hoping it goes back to 1998. She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction. And I always said, ‘These are the new rules.’… Have you ever loved somebody, loved her completely, but had to end the relationship for life reasons? In some ways I wish I could be with her. But I can’t change the fact that I need to be 32. I want to dance. I want to get on an airplane and be like a ninja. I want to be an explorer. I want to be like The Bourne Identity. I don’t want to pet dogs in the kitchen.” All in all, I would think that Aniston has a bigger claim to Mayer rage, but mostly the tabloids are focusing on Jessica. Here’s Life & Style’s take:
For a guy considered one of Hollywood’s biggest ladies’ men, John Mayer was certainly in gloomy spirits on Valentine’s Day, while on tour in Toronto to promote his album, Battle Studies. Though not surprising, as just four days earlier the singer was forced to issue a series of apologies expressing deep regret over an interview in the March issue of Playboy. But as bad as John may feel about the interview – where he discusses intimate details about his romances with exes Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston – his apologies are too little, too late.
When talking about Jess, John showed the ultimate disrespect by bragging about their bedroom antics. A friend of Jessica’s confirms that the sex was, indeed, pretty wild. “Jessica told me she and John had amazing sex,” the friend tells Life & Style. “She said they did things she had never even thought of.” In fact, during a 2007 getaway to Italy, a hotel insider tells Life & Style, “Jon and Jessica’s suite was a mess.”
While neither Jess nor Jen has publicly responded to the interview, behind closed doors, an insider says, Jessica is furious.
“She feels like this came out of nowhere,” the insider tells Life & Style. “She had no idea he was going to be talking about her like this. It’s shocking. She thinks he’s lost his mind.”
And while she’s staying quiet for the time being, she’ll soon have plenty of opportunities to strike back.
“She’s going to be doing a lot of press for her new VH1 series, The Price of Beauty,” the insider says. “She knows she’ll be questioned about John again. If someone asks her about it, she will respond. That’s her revenge plan.”
[From Life & Style Magazine]
Oh, God. Can you just imagine Jessica on some revenge war path? That will be so, so ugly. Because she’s not the brightest bulb, and she’s only going to end up hurting herself. And it will probably be a head injury. And then she’ll fart. And it will be epic.
Anyway, CB already preview this, but here’s Star Magazine’s take on the Jessica/Jennifer revenge plan for Mayer:
It’s one thing to kiss and tell and it’s another to kiss and tell the world! In the March 1 issue of Star, on sale today, we report that Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson are in complete shock over their ex John Mayer’s betrayal — spilling intimate revelations about their relationships — including sex secrets! — to Playboy. For both women, it was a devastatingly low blow — even coming from him!
Of Jessica, whom he dated from 2006 to 2007, John said she “is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually, it was crazy… It was like napalm, sexual napalm.” And he suggested that was all Jess ever was to him. “I really said, ‘I now make the choice to sleep with Jessica Simpson,” he bragged, while insisting that although she isn’t his type — or intellectual equal — he couldn’t resist seducing her.
“She’s angry and embarrassed,” a source close to her tells Star.
While Jess wasn’t his perfect match, his called his bond with Jen “pretty intense” — even now. “I’m very protective of Jen,” he said. “I love Jen so much that I’m now thinking about how bad I would feel if she read this and was like…‘I don’t want to be in your lineage of kiss-and-tells.’”
But that didn’t stop him from blabbing! He cheapened their connection by detailing for the public how he often fantasizes about his sexual exploits with past girlfriends and how he’s slept with “four or five” women since he split with Jen last year.
“Jen is taking this really personally,” a source tells Star. “She always stuck up for John when her friends cautioned her against him, but now she regrets it.”
Neither woman is taking John’s betrayal lightly! Pick up Star’s new issue today to read all the bedroom secrets John revealed and Jen and Jess’ feelings of humiliation. Plus: Their plan for revenge!
[From Star Magazine]
What I find particularly hilarious is that Jessica and Jennifer are only really mad (allegedly) because of what John said about them. If I had ever been dumb enough to date Mayer (and trust me, douches like that are a dime a dozen in my experience, and I’ve successfully avoided all of them), I would be the most ashamed that I had dated such a raging closet-case, racist, misogynistic psychopath. I mean, that’s what’s really embarrassing.
Life & Style Magazine and Star Magazine covers courtesy of CoverAwards.
ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7pLHLnpmirJOdxm%2BvzqZmcmlna35ww8eolqygn6q5pavBnpaappentqa%2BvpqZqK2klLewtM2YpJqxlaesq7HSrKCcmY%2Botq680qilmKeilLemus2inZ6qj5a7qr%2FTqKVo